Joanna Gaines, one half of the incredibly successful ‘Fixer Upper‘ series, published an essay in Magnolia Journal on August 12th, detailing how difficult recent changes in her family have been.
The 44-year-old host talked about how her and Chip’s oldest son, Drake, will be leaving for college.
Soon, our oldest son, Drake, will be leaving home for college. In the grand scheme of heartbreaking things, this one comes with a lot of gratitude and excitement. But still, my first child is moving away, and our family dynamic will change because of it, and that can feel like a loss of its own.
It’s a common phenomenon. There are probably thousands of articles on ways to deal with the sadness. Some experts believe this is partly because parents feel like they’re no longer needed.
This is why Vicki Nelson, founder of College Parent Central, recommends transitioning your parenting style.
What makes it worse is when parents think, ‘I need to completely abdicate and let go,’ What we talk to parents a lot about is you are not really letting go. Parents are not completely out of the picture; it’s just that your role shifts.
You enter the “coaching mode” of your parent life. Your kid may not need you to take care of them anymore in an everyday setting, but they do still need guidance in life.
Joanna noted in her essay that while she’s incredibly proud and excited for her son, she can’t help but think of the days ahead, where she might be brought to the floor in a moment of sadness, especially as her other kids grow older as well. She and Chip also share a 15-year-old, 14-year-old, 12-year-old and a 4-year-old.
What we learn is that life is not about holding out only for the days of brightest possibility. It’s not only about finding ourselves a crisp new page. Sometimes, in order to move forward, we have to surrender ourselves to the promise of growth that follows the fall. Easier said than done, yes — one thousand times yes.
I think a lot of people can relate to her right now.
